Pre-Production: Sixth Tutorial With Simon - Script Amendments
After our fifth draft had been handed in, we had another tutorial with Simon as to how to improve it ready for submission.
He suggested that we replace Brian with Marie's husband Jean-Paul so that it is clearer to the audience that she is married. This is within the teaser and it is mainly dialogue changes that were needed. For example, we made Marie's lines a lot snappier and sharper to ensure the audience understands fully how her character is hot-headed and sharp. However, what she does say needs to be important and have comedic elements to them. Furthermore, each line should show the character's personality like Annie who says "jiffy" which is a clear representation of the type of person she is.
When the newspaper headline is introduced in the teaser, there needs to be a breather that allow the audience to digest what has happened as well as allow the idea of becoming Young & Famous to stir within the characters. The way we have tackled this is by stating that "We're not ordinary are we?" This gives the audience the clear understanding that Annie & Dean want to change who they are to impress their family, providing them with the motivation to become Young & Famous.
There needs to be a visual reference to the TV show of the Last Dish, whether this be as an advertisement seen on TV while Annie is practicing yoga or that the film crew are wearing the logo of the show on some T-Shirts. This will really bring our production values up as it will look more professional and well produced which is my job to make happen.
Annie & Dean's motivation for returning to Marie's house has changed to Annie creating a picnic for them to have a family day out and Dean will remind the audience of the Last Dish by alerting Marie that he has applied.
Now that all of these changes have been made, our script is ready for submission. We are really pleased with the progress that has been made throughout our scripts and it is now at a place where only very minor changes will be made to dialogue when the actors read through it and bring the characters to life. This final draft can be found in our Pre-Production Book.
He suggested that we replace Brian with Marie's husband Jean-Paul so that it is clearer to the audience that she is married. This is within the teaser and it is mainly dialogue changes that were needed. For example, we made Marie's lines a lot snappier and sharper to ensure the audience understands fully how her character is hot-headed and sharp. However, what she does say needs to be important and have comedic elements to them. Furthermore, each line should show the character's personality like Annie who says "jiffy" which is a clear representation of the type of person she is.
When the newspaper headline is introduced in the teaser, there needs to be a breather that allow the audience to digest what has happened as well as allow the idea of becoming Young & Famous to stir within the characters. The way we have tackled this is by stating that "We're not ordinary are we?" This gives the audience the clear understanding that Annie & Dean want to change who they are to impress their family, providing them with the motivation to become Young & Famous.
There needs to be a visual reference to the TV show of the Last Dish, whether this be as an advertisement seen on TV while Annie is practicing yoga or that the film crew are wearing the logo of the show on some T-Shirts. This will really bring our production values up as it will look more professional and well produced which is my job to make happen.
Annie & Dean's motivation for returning to Marie's house has changed to Annie creating a picnic for them to have a family day out and Dean will remind the audience of the Last Dish by alerting Marie that he has applied.
Now that all of these changes have been made, our script is ready for submission. We are really pleased with the progress that has been made throughout our scripts and it is now at a place where only very minor changes will be made to dialogue when the actors read through it and bring the characters to life. This final draft can be found in our Pre-Production Book.
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