Pre-Production: Fourth Tutorial With Simon - Script Amendments
After our third draft was handed in we had a tutorial with Simon to discuss the script amendments for draft 4.
The teaser needs to be different as it doesn't express clearly enough what the characters have to lose and it also needs to make more sense as to where the idea for Young & Famous has come from without it just being said with no link. It also needs to highlight why the children feel embarrassed by them by how other people view them. A way we could do this is by having Annie & Dean cut and eat the birthday cake of their Grandchild and be ushered out by their daughter Marie. It's possible that Annie & Dean could be discussing Young & Famous in bed as this is the cliche way older people discuss important matters in Sitcoms.
We spoke about removing Claire from the pilot episode as the scene doesn't really add a lot to the story other than introducing her as a character. We feel this is the best way to go however we need to replace it with another scene. We decided that we would take Annie & Dean back to Marie's house where they are spying on Marie's house to see how they are. Marie tells them to go away which renders them defeated.
We have also added a film crew to accompany Jordan Hamsey to make it look like he is there creating a 'behind the scenes' film to go with his TV show. We have also decided that Marie and the grandchildren will arrive at the front door just as Jordan Hamsey is being sick. This will highlight the ultimate failure of their plan even though they thought it was going so well, making it a funny ending.
We have made the teaser about Annie & Dean's daughter Marie hosting a Magazine launch, it will be a black tie event and Annie & Dean will look ordinary and dull which causes the employers and employees that are attending the event to be rude and cruel to Annie & Dean. Dean pops a champagne bottle and the cork lands in the Boss's glass embarrassing Marie further whilst Annie gets in dispute with Marie's guests over how she is dressed. This causes them both to be kicked out of the party and for Marie to never want to see them.
Draft 4 can be found in the Pre-Production Book.
The teaser needs to be different as it doesn't express clearly enough what the characters have to lose and it also needs to make more sense as to where the idea for Young & Famous has come from without it just being said with no link. It also needs to highlight why the children feel embarrassed by them by how other people view them. A way we could do this is by having Annie & Dean cut and eat the birthday cake of their Grandchild and be ushered out by their daughter Marie. It's possible that Annie & Dean could be discussing Young & Famous in bed as this is the cliche way older people discuss important matters in Sitcoms.
We spoke about removing Claire from the pilot episode as the scene doesn't really add a lot to the story other than introducing her as a character. We feel this is the best way to go however we need to replace it with another scene. We decided that we would take Annie & Dean back to Marie's house where they are spying on Marie's house to see how they are. Marie tells them to go away which renders them defeated.
We have also added a film crew to accompany Jordan Hamsey to make it look like he is there creating a 'behind the scenes' film to go with his TV show. We have also decided that Marie and the grandchildren will arrive at the front door just as Jordan Hamsey is being sick. This will highlight the ultimate failure of their plan even though they thought it was going so well, making it a funny ending.
We have made the teaser about Annie & Dean's daughter Marie hosting a Magazine launch, it will be a black tie event and Annie & Dean will look ordinary and dull which causes the employers and employees that are attending the event to be rude and cruel to Annie & Dean. Dean pops a champagne bottle and the cork lands in the Boss's glass embarrassing Marie further whilst Annie gets in dispute with Marie's guests over how she is dressed. This causes them both to be kicked out of the party and for Marie to never want to see them.
Draft 4 can be found in the Pre-Production Book.
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